Children’s disobedience to their parents today has various causes. Although you will often find parents saying “THIS IS NOW”. However, there is no shortage of reasons, as a parent it is important to start learning how to communicate with your child so that he grows up the way you want.
The American Psychological Association says that the key to a good relationship between a mother and a child is based on talking and listening, being able to understand what the child is saying and knowing how to tell him what you want and understand is one of the things that make you a good parent.
Here we present to you some of the behaviors that you should avoid when you are talking to your child.
There are various reasons why children disobey their parents
1. Saying a lot of words
Young children can understand what you are saying when you talk to them in clear words. Long sentences, many conversations, and long words, the child cannot listen to them once to know what you mean.
According to psychologists and anthropologists, the first step to communicating with a child so that he can understand and understand what you want to say, is to stop what you are doing and find a better way to talk to him. At this point you should stop talking so fast that the child does not understand. There is a way for elders to tell children things that have no meaning, they seem to play and understand that it doesn’t matter because they are children, but it is not good because there are things that the child should learn from you and you do not value them.
2. Shouting and swearing
It is difficult to live well with a child who does not scold him, because the child himself scolds you, but here it is necessary that when you are going to discipline the child you should be careful. Research shows that verbal abuse during discipline has negative psychological and behavioral effects on a child in the future.
Saying harsh words to the child comes when the parent has emotions that they cannot take care of and it is sometimes accompanied by bullying thoughts, thinking that you are punishing or putting a check on his behavior, but instead it gets worse.
Shouting, using bad words, cursing or blocking (give) a break, all these are not productive. You do all this thinking that the child knows what you punished him for, but in the end the child does not get anything out of it so he will repeat the same mistake again and again.
3. Not listening to the child and not talking to him
Sometimes it is easier to ignore what the child is saying when you are busy, let’s admit that children like to talk a lot and interrupt the words that the elders would say, but here ignoring the child or being silent is wasting good time and the best way to teach the child to respect and make him a person beautiful
The next time you are busy and can’t talk to your child, instead of taking revenge on him, tell him that I can’t talk to you right now because I have something to do.
4. Ignoring his feelings and desires
The more you know the feelings and needs of children, the better you will be able to give love and care to them. When a child shows you that he is not happy, ignore him. A little word that says I understand how you feel and I’m sad, and a hug, this is what children need.
For their requests, you immediately blame him, and immediately tell him that he is the one who is in the wrong. For example, if a child tells you that he doesn’t want to go to school, instead of forcing him to go, ask him calmly why he doesn’t want to go. And so on..
5. Not having a real conversation with the child
Although we often talk to children, what we tell them is; hurry up get dressed let’s go, remind me of something, etc. Learn the basics of having a real conversation with your child.
Find time when the child is found, before bed, when you are washing him, after school, start a conversation to show him that you want to know what he is eating and that you value it.